Posts tagged ‘pain’

March 4, 2013

You hurt yourself on the outside to kill the monster on the Inside

February 20, 2013

Isn’t it crazy how we ignore those who want us? Want those who ignore us. Love those who hurt us and hurt those who loved us?

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February 15, 2013

We are like gamblers. We lie and deceive and gamble with our life so, will this cut be deep enough for me to end it all?

February 14, 2013

You know what I hate most about cutting? The feelings like 5-10 minutes after, the feeling of regret. And then getting into bed and the cuts start to sting like crazy but you ignore it because you have to, because its not going to go away. So you sleep, with pain. You wake up and you touch the cuts to satisfy yourself, then jump in the shower to the pain of feeling like you’ve cut all over again. That. That is the worst.

February 11, 2013

“You left, how am I supposed to forgive you if you left?”

“You left, how am I supposed to forgive you if you left?” I said, tears forming in my eyes.
“I don’t know, I just needed time, everything was falling around me, except you and it didn’t make sense because when everything fell, I expected you to fall with it” He said as he came closer to me.
“You expected me to fall? Why? You know I’d never have left, I’d never have went away”
“I know. Okay. I know. And I understand you know, I understand if you don’t want to get back with me, I wouldn’t blame you. I guess I deserve it with how I treated you. I should have known you wouldn’t have left me too.”
“Jamie, I would never leave you, you understand that right?” I said, taking his hand in mine.
“I understand” he said, as he collapsed into my arms, crying.
I didn’t know what to do, normally It’s Jamie holding me but now it’s him and I have no clue what to do, I hold him, I hold him so tight that if I let go again, he would just leave, he would leave without saying bye, he would just disappear with no one to be there for him, or me. I was afraid of losing him, I was so afraid but I couldn’t help but act like it was normal, act like it was all okay when it wasn’t, everything was falling around me too, It wasn’t just falling around him but he doesn’t understand that. He doesn’t understand that I feel the same pain as him.

February 11, 2013

I wished for a life that could never truly exist, I tried to make my world perfect but it destroyed me.